The New Blog

Just wanted to let everyone know that I have a new blog and it will be the main one for now on.

http://themysticmovieguru.blogspot.com/

Japanese toilet experience 1

The Fall Recap

So, it's finally November. 2010 went by so fast. It's true when they say time passes by. One day I'll wake up and I'll be 30 fuckin' years old (hopefully). Anyway I did a summer movie review and a lot of the movies either underwhelmed or disappointed greatly. There was one film in particular that really pissed me off and is probably going to be the worst film of the year, or at least close to it. I can't call the verdict out on that yet b/c I haven't see Yogi Bear (yes, there is a Yogi Bear film coming out...sigh). Anyway here are quick reviews of all the movies I've seen since The Expendables. I decided on what rating system I'm going to use. It's just going to be the 5 star system (nothing special).

Going the Distance: Another sub par romantic comedy, but not the worst one I've seen. Drew Barrymore is charming, but Justin Long feels totally out of place. The film is weird because it is an R-rated romantic comedy, which aren't really common. So the film is going to lose some audience right there. The movie had an odd mix of raunchy humor that just didn't mix well and most the jokes were more miss than hit. 2 out of 5.

Machete: The best thing about the 2007 film Grindhouse film were the fake trailers. This film is based off of one of them. Machete has a simple premise: a Mexican day laborer is hired to kill the senator. However, his employers double cross him and leave him for dead. He recovers and takes revenge on his former employees. Machete is played by Danny Trejo who you see in a lot of movies, but is always a supporting character. This is his first starring role and he is so bad azz. There is so much bloodshed and over-the-top violence that I expect from this B-movie. The film runs a little too long as it could have just been a tight hour and a half. Plus it introduces a heavy political message about open boarders and shit. It's an odd mix for this film as you can't take it seriously anyway. It's still fun though. 3.5 out of 5.

Resident Evil Afterlife: I thought they were done making these bad RE film, but I guess I was wrong. The last RE film (Extinction) was better than the previous two, but that wasn't saying much. Afterlife is the fourth film in the shit RE franchise and it doesn't improve the series one bit. There are a few good action scenes, but it has a bad story, bad dialogue, and bad 3D. It just proves that 3D makes movies worse. 1.5 out of 5.

The Virginity Hit: A simple story of a teen and his friends trying to get laid. Sound familiar (Superbad)? Except it's not as funny as Superbad. Oh, and the whole thing is filmed with a shaky camera. I hate Shaky cam! I HATE SHAKY CAM!!! Seriously though, it just makes me dizzy and it's lazy film making. 1 out of 5.

The Town: This is Ben Affleck's second film and it proves that he is not a one hit wonder. It's a bank robbing movie, but also a very tense one. It's probably the second best heist movie (behind Inception). There are great performances from everyone and the script is great. It's not as good as his first film Gone Baby Gone, but it should be a serious Oscar contender. 4 out of 5.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger: Woody Allen ios 74 and still making movies. Now that's hard work. Unfortunately his best days are behind him, but we do get flashes of brilliance once in a while (Match Point, Vicky Cristina Barcelona). This is a decent lightweight romantic comedy that is better than 99% of the other rom comedies out there. The cast is impressive, but Antonio Banderas and Frieda Pinto are wasted. The best performance go to Gemma Jones, Anthony Hopkins, and Josh Brolin. It's not one of Woody's best, but not his worst. Although this is really for his fan base. Anyone else might be bored of it. 3.5 out of 5.

The Social Network: A movie about Facebook is one of the best movies of the year. I am not joking. This is a brilliant film with an excellent screenplay and outstanding performances by Jessi Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, and even Justin Timberlake. David Fincher has crafted a great film and it could be the Citizen Kane of this decade. That's a bold statement, but this is a clever, smart, and amazing film. This has Oscar nominations all over it. 5 out of 5.

Life as We Know It: Another awful romantic comedy by the super annoying Katherine Heigl. There is no chemistry between Heigl and Josh Duchamel (I think that's how you spell his name). The jokes aren't funny and plot is just so boring. Oh and did I mention that Heigl is annoying and a little bitchy. Well if there is one good thing about the movie is that the baby they care for is pretty cute. 0.5 out of 5.

My Soul to Take: Come one Wes Craven! You're a horror icon you directed one of the best horror movies ever (A Nightmare on Elm Street). Plus you directed the excellent Scream franchise. This is supposed to be his comeback movie, but it is so bad. I mean this is really bad. The ludicrous and convoluted plot, the cardboard characters, and lack of thrills make this a piece of shit movie. Seriously Wes. what were you thinking. Let's hope Scre4m (dumb ass title) fairs better. 0.5 out of 5.

Due Date: An average road comedy starring Robert Downey, Jr. and lovable man-child Zach Galifiankis. It has some big laughs, but it's ultimately empty of story and character development. 3 out of 5.

Megamind: An entertaining family film by DreamWorks. The jokes are clever and voice acting is good for the most part. Will Ferrell is excellent as the lead. There are some jokes that will fly over the kids' heads. It's another standard DreamWorks film, which is not bad. However, DreamWorks is always second place to the superior Pixar. 3.5 out of 5.

So that is it. There are still some good movie coming out like the final Harry Potter film, 127 Hours, Tron Legacy, and True Grit. So see you next time.

Due Date Review

Maybe I was expecting too much. The film seemed to be perfect on paper. You have two hot stars right now (Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Galifiankis) in a road trip comedy. It's from the same director of The Hangover, which is the highest grossing R-rated comedy of all time. It sounds good on paper, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Let me explain.

Due Date is about a A high-strung father-to-be is forced to hitch a ride with a college slacker on a road trip in order to make it to his child's birth on time. high-strung father-to-be (Robert Downey Jr.) is forced to hitch a ride with a college slacker (Zach Galifiankis) on a road trip in order to make it to his child's birth on time. From there hilarity ensures and becomes a crazy road trip movie.

When I first saw the trailer I immediately thought of Plains, Trains, and Automobiles. This classic 1987 movie starred Steve Martin and John Candy basically in the same predicament. Of course there are some differences like Steve Martin trying to get home for Thanksgiving and that it takes place in the holiday season.

The difference between that movie and Due Date is that Plains, Trains, and Automobiles actually had heart and character development. In Due Date you sacrifice those elements from over-the-top humor. This over-the-top humor works for The Hangover and it only works half the time for this film. The main reason is that The Hangover has a much more clever script. It's juvenile, but written well. It's like the comedic version of Memento. Due Date's script is worse and film goes all over the place, especially in the latter part of the film.

The chemistry between the two actors is decent, but it always feel a little uneasy too. Plus the film always felt a little too mean spirited to me and went on the border of dark comedy. It's weird since I usually love dark comedy. The chemistry between Steve Martin and John Candy always felt more earnest and real. They actually bonded at the end. At the end of Due Date I felt like the two leads were still annoyed of each other.

It seems like I'm dogging this film, but I'm not. It had some very funny moments, but they happened too sporadically. It will entertain the first time, but it won't have as much replay value. I would rent Plains, Trains, and Automobiles instead if you want to see a good road trip movie.

Due Date - 3/5
Plains, Trains, and Automobiles - 4.5/5

I Met a Tall Dark Stranger

Let's face it, Woody Allen hit his peak at least a decade ago. I think he peaked with Hannah and Her Sisters, but I could be wrong since I haven't viewed Allen huge film catalog. He still turns out some good ones once in a while (Match Point, Vicky Cristina Barcelona). For the most part the 2000's will be remembered as the worst decade for Allen's movies.

Fortunately it's a new decade and Allen starts out with You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, and for the most part I liked it. I enjoyed Allen's last film Whatever Works for than I should have and I was excited in seeing this film. I went to my local art house theater and discovered that I was the youngest person in the theater. My mom was the second youngest (at 50 yrs old). The theater was packed with senor citizens in their 70's and even early 80's. Plus my mom and I were the only minorities. I felt out of place, but still felt cool about it.

The film has an ensemble cast and filled with several sub plots. The film follows Alfie (Anthony Hopkins) who leaves his wife, Helena (Gemma Jones) after 40 years because he's feeling to old. He tries to reinvigorate himself and meets a call girl (Lucy Punch). Meanwhile Helena abandons all rationality and seeks the advice of a con artist fortune teller.

Then there's the subplot about Alfie and Helena's daughter, Sally and and her husband, Roy (Josh Brolin). Sally starts to fall in love with her new art gallery boss Greg (Antonio Banderas). In addition, Roy, who is a struggling author, awaits the response of his new novel. In the meantime he watches a mysterious woman (Freida Pito) from his window and develops feelings for her as well.

That's a lot of story lines and some of these plots are vaguely familiar like infidelity, death, depression, and other stuff. That's because there are numerous ideas recycled from other (and better) Woody Allen. There are plots points like "I want to leave my lover for another lover' or 'that I made a mistake and now I want to go back to my previous lover". You know, things like that.

The film is still amusing at some points and it did keep my interest. Although I was mad that some of the plot lines never wrapped up. Technically the average viewer should have been able how they ended up, but that is a minor complaint. I still think the underrated Whatever Works was funnier, but this film had better and well-written characters.

It's a minor entry into Allen's lenghty film career, but not a bad movie. I think Woody Allen fans would appreciate this more than the average viewer though. 7 out of 10.

Life As We Know It Review

Going the Distance Review

The Fullmetal Medji's Movie Reviews 9-17

The Virginity Hit Review

The Social Network Review

His Name is Machete.

This film is based off a fake trailer for Grindhouse. That trailer is also directed by Robert Rodriguez, and it was probably one of the best things about Grindhouse. Now we get the actual movie and it does what it sets out to do, but there are some noticable flaws.

First of all the film delivers on the action scenes. They're violent, bloody, and a whole lot of fun. Danny trejo finally gets his first starring role and he is the ultimate bad ass (not bad for a 66 year old man). The women are sexy, but that's to be expected when we have beautiful babes like Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, and Lindsay Lohan. Rodriguez knows how tyo film good action scenes and they are chaotic and throughly enjoyable.

The plot is the main problem with this film. I know that action movies like this don't need a plot, but in this situation the plot is so convoluted and is a mess. Plus Rodriguez uses this movie to shove his politcal views about open boarder policy down our throats. We don't need all of this stuff in a exploitation film like this.

In addition, some of the other big names in the film like DeNero, Johnson, and especially Segal don't do anything. I mean seagal probably has like 10 minutes of screen time. The movie is also too long as it clocks in at around 2 hours. The premise wear thin after a while and it gets redundent after that. Plus the final battle wasn't as momentus as I thought it would be. If about 30 minutes were cut out it would have been a great movie.

If you love action movies then you will get a kick out of it. However, the severAl flaws almost ruined for me. This better viewed at home as I got restless after a while. Now if they make a Thanksgiving movie thren I will be happy. P.S. there needs to be a grindhouse sequel, but it bombed so that's not happening. Maybe the blu-ray will sell really well and... oh who am I kidding there will be no sequel, but it's fun to imagine, isn't it? I give it 3.5/5.

Summer Movie Season: The Good and The Bad.

Hello forum I haven't been on here for a while (shame on me). I keep saying that I'm going to try to be consistent, but things don't always work out the way you want them to. Anyway, the summer movie season is basically over, and it really hasn't been a good summer, but not as bad as the summer of 2005. I saw a lot of movies this summer and I want to get into them real quick.

Iron Man 2: This was one of the most anticipated films of the summer, but it didn't reach anyone's high expectations. Some box office analysts predicted that it would make at least $400 mil at the B.O. In the end it made around $312 mil, which is lower than Iron Man's $318 mil B.O. Still that's nothing to complain about. I thought the movie was better than the original. It had more action and awesome special effects. Plus the climatic battle was better than the first. Mainly because audiences got to see War Machine in action. The villains weren't as developed as I thought they would be, and I wish they would have just stuck with one. There are also a lot of story lines going on, but they are interesting. A good summer popcorn flick and it goes on my top 10 best superhero list. I give it an 8/10.

Robin Hood: This version of Robin Hood is probably the most boring one that I have ever seen. The action scenes were frenetic and couldn't tell who from whom. Plus did I mention it was boring. Russell Crowe does his best, but it's way too long and has too much dialog for this type of movie. I give it a 4/10.

MacGruber: This is based off the SNL sketch starring Will Forte as MacGruber. Forte is a bomb technician who can use anything to help diffuse a bomb, but he always gets distracted and the bomb goes off anyway. This is a parody of the old television show MacGyver. I don't watch SNL that much anymore. Most of the ppl I liked are gone except for Bill Hader and Will Forte. I liked this film b/c it spoofed all of the 80's action flicks and built a nice short film that didn't drag on. Some of the humor is really gross at times (even for me). Some of the jokes get redudent and the premise will wear thin for some ppl. It's a solid comedy, but nothing real special. I give it 6.5/10.

Get Him to the Greek: This is a spinoff of the very funny Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It stars Russell Brand as Aldous Snow, the wild rock star who was the best thing about that movie. This film is raunchy, but it doesn't have the heart that Forgetting Sarah Marshall had. Johan Hill is in here as a record intern who has 72 hours to take Snow to a concert in L.A. Hill tries to be funny, but only gets a few laughs. The highlight of the movie is Se4an "P. Diddy" Combs, who plays a record executive. He steals the show and was funnier than expected. The film is extremely vile and raunchy, but if you can stand that then it's a good comedy. 7.5/10.

The Karate Kid: I can't believe I liked this movie. This is a remake of the first Karate Kid, which starred Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. In that film Ralph Macchio is getting beaten up by bullies until he learns karate from Morita. Through unconventional methods Macchio becomes an ass kicking machine. In the remake it stars Jaden Smith (Will Smith's son) as the troubled kid getting beat up. This time the film is set in China so Smith really feels out of place. He meets his Jackie Chan, who is replacing Morita as the janitor/martial arts expert. In the film Smith is learning Kung-Fu instead of karate so the title is a little misleading. Jaden Smith isn't the best child actor, but he has charm just like his daddy. The landscapes are very beautiful and captures the essence of China. It's a predictable story and it's slightly better than the original. 7 out of 10.

Cyrus: A big disappointment for me. It had a good cast, which included John C. Reilly, Catherine Keener, and Marisa Tomei. You even had Jonah Hill, who can be funny sometimes. The plot is about a divorcée (Reilly) who meets a woman (Tomei) who still has her 20 something son living with her. It sounds like a good indie comedy, doesn't it? Well it fails big time. The shaky cam is annoying, the story doesn't really go anywhere, and it's not that funny. It's not even that good of a drama. Maybe the Duplass Brothers were going for a dark comedy. I don't know and don't give a @#$%. Well, at least it's short. 4 out of 10.

Grown Ups: I already wrote a review about this so I will keep this short. Grown Ups is a lazy effort, even for him. After last year's phenomenal performance in the grossly underrated Funny People, he goes back into his comfort zone. I laughed a few times, but Sandler PG-13 movies are wearing thin. The rest of the ensemble cast (Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Rob Schneider) are wasted in a shitty screenplay. I'm still a sucker for Happy Gilmore though. 5 out of 10.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse- I like Twilight, but I'm ashamed of it. Instead of watching good vampire shows like True Blood I watch this. I don't know why. I guess it's just a guilty pleasure. This is probably the best one in series as it kicks up the action some more and we really get to see the sparkling vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) fight against the shirtless werewolf Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) for the hand of the annoying indecisive Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart). I still don't know why they fight over her. She's not super hot or anything. There's nothing special about her at all. Oh, and the dialog is awful, the three leads can't act, and the action is clumsy. However, the cinematography is beautiful. 6.9 out of 10.

The Last Airbender: Oh yes, now this is a classic example of a Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong does go wrong. The source material is based off the popular Nicelodeon anime. It's about a 12 year old who is the Avatar, who can bend (control) the four elements (fire, water, earth, wind) and bring peace to the world. This film has piss poor dialog, static characters who cannot act (I'm looking at you Jackson Rathbone), and poorly filmed and uninteresting action scenes. Seeing this film in this film makes it even worse. I expected better from M. Night Shyamalan, who has been in a downward spiral even since 2004's The Village. A terrible movie in every sense of the word and a strong contender for worst movie of the year. Well, at least the location are pretty. 0.5 out of 10.

Predators: The best Predators movie since the original, but that's not saying much since the original was average at best. Instead of the Predators coming to Earth they teleport a bunch of soldiers, murders, and gang members down to their planet to hunt them. A standard by-the- book action movie that is violent, but nothing too memorable. It's still better than those God awful Aliens Vs. Predators movies. I give it a 6 out of 10.

Inception: The best movie of the summer is also one of the most original ones in a long time. This is Christopher Nolan's follow up to the insanely popular Dark Knight, which is one of the greatest superhero films ever made. Inception is about a professional thief Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio, who specializes in extracting ideas from businessmen's dreams and giving them to rival companies. This time one the heads of the company wants Cobb to implant an idea into one of his rival's head, which has never been done before. Chris Nolan is a great director who always values story over special effects, which is rare these days in a Hollywood production. Oh, and when there are special effects they are phenomenal. A great movie that requires multiple views, but it's not a masterpiece. The movie is a little long for me and they could have shaved a little time off of it. I give it an 9 out of 10.

Salt: I love Angelina Jolie because she is super hot and she kicks total ass. This a good action thriller that is tightly constructed and it has very nice action scenes. The only problem is its plot, which becomes completely ludicrous even for an action movie. It's a good spy film and in a summer of lackluster action films this is a decent surprise. 8 out of 10.

Dinner for Schmucks: Steve Carell is a comedic genius. This guy took a one dimensional character and made me laugh so hard. I'm ashamed at how much I laughed, but I just couldn't help it. It's a silly slapstick comedy that doesn't hold a candle to the original, but I still enjoyed it. 7.5 out of 10.

The Other Guys: Will Ferrell is back with an awesome film after last year's horrible Land of the Lost. The film was funnier than expected, but action scenes were average at best. Ferrell is comedic gold in this, but Mark Wahlberg just doesn't have the same comedic timing as Ferrell. Ferrell and Wahlberg still worked well together. If anything you have to see the film for the first 1o minutes with Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson. 7.5 out of 10.

Step Up 3D: Another movie that is embracing the 3D craze. I never thought there would be a dance movie in 3D, but Hollywood continues to amaze me at what they will do to make a buck. I am personally tired of 3D because a lot of the novelty has worn off. I can only think of a few films that truly made full use of the extra dimensional. The 3D dance scenes are very well done, but that's it. You don't go to a Step Up movie for good plot, interesting characters, and good dialog. However, you can only take so much. So when they weren't dancing the film was unbearable to watch. 4 out of 10.

Flipped: Rob Reiner's latest film is set in '62, which is apparently the last year of innocence in the U.S. The film is sweet, but very sappy and chicle. The two leads are likable, but nothing that special here and it falls into corny material. Also it was just hard for me to relate to these characters at all. Maybe because it's out of my demographic, IDK. 4.5 out of 10

Eat Pray Love: A very boring movie and the first movie walked out of in a long time. I would have walked out of The Last Airbender, but my friend paid for my ticket and it would be sort of rude if I walked out. Julia Roberts plays a divorcée who goes on a journey to find herself. She eats in Italy, prays in Bali, and finds love in India. The good thing about the film is that the cinematography is beautiful and it really makes me want to go to Rome, Italy. Roberts tries her best, but she plays a self centered character who creates drama for her life and is very whiny. It's a dull romance film that wrongs way too long (2hr 13 min) and by the first hour I was tired, and walked. Good thing I saw this for free. 1.5 out of 10.

The Expendables: This is the ultimate action film of the year as it brings together the action stars of the 80's with some current action movie stars. Sylvester Stallone emsembles an all star cast that includes himself, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, and Steve Austin. Plus there are cameos by Bruce Willis and the Governator. Stallone directs his action scenes very well, but the script is terrible and the plot is nonexistent. All the dialog feels forced and any attempt at humor falls flat. It's a testoterome filled epic that is fun, but still hollow. 7.1 out of 10.

Those are the movies I've seen and it was definitely a mixed bag. Iron Man 2 is a must buy when it comes out on DVD/Blu-ray in a couple of months. Get Him to the Greek, The Karate Kid, and MacGruber are a good rental. If you haven't seen Inception, Dinner for Schmucks, or Salt, those are some good films to see in theaters. Peace out and happy moviegoing.

The Last Airbender (or The Death of M. Night Shyamalan's Career)

I hate to be blunt right off the bat, but this was a horrible movie. "The Last Airbender" is based off the popular Nickelodeon anime series. Before I saw this movie I hadn't seen the whole series, but just enough to get a basic grasp of what the movie would be like. When I walked into the theater I had an ominous feeling about this movie and well the feeling was spot on. I don't know where to begin with this hodgepodge of a movie.

The biggest problem is the script, which has some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard. The story felt really rushed, which I was afraid of from the start because the script is trying to condense a 20 episode season into a movie less than 2 hours. The acting is horrendous and everytime a character spoke on the screen my ears bled. The actors, especially the three leads, had no emotion at all and their characters were so undeveloped and boring. They were just acting like dolls on the screen. The special effects looked cheap and were underwhelming. Plus the action is not that good to begin with. However, the worst thing about this film is that it took itself way too seriously. I mean it's a children's show for Christ's sake. If the movie had some kind of humor at least it would helped ease my boredom.

What's even worse is that the film was written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, who made one of the best horror movies of all time (The Sixth Sense). "The Sixth Sense" is such a good film because it's a psychologicaql horror film, which are the best kind. The director really know how to build up suspense and set up creepy atmosphere. The Sixth Sense probably has the best twist ending I have ever seen. Despite my intense hate for twist endings I have to admit that it was a good and clever ending.

The next film he made, "Unbreakable", had a very interesting premise and was set up well. The twist ending was not as good as his previous film, but still a solid ending. In fact if it was any other director who made that film he/she would have gotten a lot more praise. Of course at that time people are going to judge you more harshly after making an excellent film like the Sixth Sense". After that I didn't watch anymore of Shyamalan's movies. I heard "Signs" was a solid movie, but his next film "The Villiage" had a disappointing ending. Next I heard that Lady in the Water was just terrible.

Then he made "The Happening", which was god awful. It was the first Shyamalan film I saw since Unbreakable and I was very disappointing. The twist ending was garbage (the plants are killing people) and the casting just seemed off. Plus, just running away from flowers and plants probably seemed good on paper, but fails on the screen. "The Last Airbender" was supossed to be a comeback for Shyamalan, but instead this ends up being his worst film. After seeing the film I can safely say that Shyamalan is officially a one hit wonder. He is past his prime and is going to need one hell of a comeback to salvage his career. I here that he is making another movie starring Bruce Willis, which will be the third collaboration between Willis and Shyamalan.

I wonder if "The Last Airbender" will get a sequel because there are 3 seasons of the show. Shyamalan wants to adapt the next two seasons into two movies, but I hope he lets someone else take the directing chair and the writing responsibilities. I think Chris Columbus would be a good replacement because he can handle the fantasy element thanks to his work on the first 2 Harry Potter movies and action thanks to his experience on Percy Jackson.

Lastly, if anyone is going to see this in 3-D, don't! It does nothing for the movie and it just distracts from an already terrible film. This film will win Worst Picture at the Golden Raspberry Award, so at least Shyamalan will get something in return.

Adam Sandler Needs To Grow Up!

Everybody knows that Adam Sandler is one of the few actor whose movies are critic proof. Adam Sandler has been around since the '90's and his movies were bad then, but they were entertaining. Happy Gilmore will always be one of my all time guilty favorites. However, the '90 are behind and the Sandler movies I used to love went down significantly.

However, in 2002, Sandler starred in Paul Thomas Anderson's Punch-Drunk Love. At that point I realized that Sandler could act. In Punch Drunk Love, Sandler did play the same immature character as always, but in this movie he takes it further. As a result, Adam Sandler tapped into some deep feelings and made the character seem real.

Adam Sandler kept doing the occasional serious role and was quite good at them. Movies like Spanglish and Reign on Me made me respect him as an actual actor. His comedy movie movie started getting worse with each money with I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry being the lowest point. Then he starred in last year very underrated Funny People, which is his Magnum Opus.

Now we have Grown Ups and instead of growing up Sandler has stayed in the same safe territory that he is accustomed to. Grown Ups has an all star cast that includes Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Rob Schneider. The plot is simple and thin. It's about these five friends reuniting at a lake house for the 4th of July after their old basketball coach dies. There is no plot after that and it's basically a bunch of one liners after that. What I did like about this movie was the chemistry between the three leads. They really having good comedic timing and they mildly entertained me.

Nevertheless, there was a lot of flaws in the movie. Some of the jokes just fell flat and they were too far in between. David Spade and Rob Schneider were the weakest of the bunch as they just leeched off the other actors. The film is very immature, but if its done right it can be funny like in Step Brothers. It was worse than other Sandler fare because the script just felt so stale and it's like jokes are being recycled from other movies.

All in all the film is bad and it might be worse than Chuck and Larry. I wish Sandler would do more mature stuff because he is certainly more than capable of. This movie looked like a lot of fun to make. The end result generates some laughs, but ultimately unsatisfying. The film will please Adam Sandler fans, but it fails on every other level. This is a rental at best. 2 stars out of 5. The end.

Melinda and Melinda (Throwback Review)

The 2000's was a cruel decade for Allen with his only standouts being Match Point and Vicky Cristina Barcelona. His worst film of the decade was Anything Else, which tried to be Annie Hall for this generation and failed miserably. Melinda and Melinda had potential and there were some good moments, but there are times where the story just falls flat.

The Good: The film's premise is about some writers gathering in a coffee place. They argue whether life is a comedic or tragic. This sounds like an interesting premise and for the most part it is. The comedic and tragic stories revolve around one character named Melinda (Radha Mitchel). I have to say that her performance is very good and she handles both sides well. Allen wrote a complex character and Mitchel lived up to the performance.

The Bad: The comedic side of the movie fails big time. I think I chuckled a few time and that's it. it's disappointing since you had Will ferrell and Steve Carrell in that segement. Of course Carrell had hardly any screen time at all. Will Ferrel could just not play the famous neurotic woody allen character.

So despite a strong performance by radha Mitchel, Melinda and Melinda fails short of its interesting premise. It's a very uneven film and I can only recommend this as a rental for Woody Allen fans. Plus just like with all of Woody Allen's films wedon't get any special features. There isn't even a trailer for this one. Now that is just messed up. I'd give this a 2.5 out of 5.

The End of Fullmetal

Well, after 10 years the Fullmetal Alchemist manga has ended. I didn't get into the series until like 2005 or 2006 (I can't remember). I started watching the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist anime series, and then I switched over to the manga. If you've read the manga and seen the anime then you know that the two series go into a completely different direction after the Elric Brothers encounter Greed. I loved the ending of the 2003 series because it was dark and mature. However, it was bittersweet because it would have been nice if the anime was able to follow the manga more closely.

However, in 2009 Bones (animation company) decided to make another FMA series based more on the manga. This did not seem necessary at first, but now I am glad they did it. FMA Brotherhood has been going on for a year now in Japan and is almost over.

This leads me into the main point of the article. The manga ended this June and it ended pretty nicely. It's just what I expected really, but a couple of thing I did not see coming.

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!!!

After Alphonse sacrifices himself to give Ed's arm back, Ed opens a can of whoop ass on Father. Since Father has no energy left from the philosopher's stone, Ed finishes him off. When Father ends up at the Gate of Truth he is sucked into despair. In order to get his brother back Edward performs human transmutation. However, he doesn't give up his soul or body. He sacrifices the truth in order to get his brother. The truth is basically the ability to perform alchemy. So Ed and Alphonse are finally reunited again except now Alphonse has his body back. From then on the ending is pretty conventional. Mustang's eyes get fixed, relations between Amestris and Ishval are patched up, Ling Yao becomes Emperor of Xing, etc...

It's a nice happy ending and it is cool to see all the loose ends tie up. I assume this is how Brotherhood is going to end, but you never know. The question is which ending is better? Is it the 2003 anime ending or the manga/Brotherhood ending better. It's really hard to say, but I like the manga ending a little better.

The 2003 series became really dark in the later episodes, but it is really mature and deep at the same time. Plus a lot more characters like Marcoh, Scar, and Selim Bradley die. The ending was very bittersweet because on one hand Alphonse got his body back, but in order to do so Ed had to transmute himself to an alternate world (our world). Plus Al did not have any memory of anything after the day the brothers first tried to transmute their mother back alive. In FMA movie Ed and Al reunited, but in our world, and not in the Amestris universe. Like I said earlier, it was satisfying, but still bittersweet.

The manga had more at stake in the end because Father was going sacrifice Amestris (Pop. 50 million) in order to obtain the power of the truth. So yeah...it was much more tense. Plus Father was just a better villain than Dante. Dante was menacing, but Father was cold blooded. It makes it all the more sweeter when Ed beats the shit out of the homunculus in the end.

I also liked the homunculi in the manga better than the 2003 series. In the 2003 series, It was neat to find out that homunculi are formed whenever someone tries human transmutation. You had sloth, who was born as a result of the Elric brothers' failed transmutation of their mother. Plus you had Wrath, who was the failed transmutation of Izumi Curtis' newborn infant. Plus Wrath could do alchemy, which was pretty bad ass.

In the manga I like Sloth, who ended up being King Bradley's son Selim Bradley. That was probably the most shocking thing about the series. I did not see that coming at all. I liked Pride because he was the strongest homunculus and the coldest one. King Bradley was Wrath in this series instead of pride and he had a lot more character development in this series.

In addition to the homunculi, other characters got more face time and more character development. Ling Yao and Mei Chang (both from Xing) were welcome additions not included in the 2003 series. Armstrong's sister is a cold blooded general who kicks so much azz. Even Kimblee is given more to do in the series because he was very underused in the first series.

So in wrapping up, I like the manga better than the 2003 version, but the 2003 series was awesome too. I would recommend watch both of the series, and to decide for yourself which one is better.

Nicolas Cage Wants Cake

The Karate Kid a.k.a. The Kung-Fu Kid

The Karate is a fan favorite from the 80's. It was only a matter of time before Hollywood decided to remake the film. Most remakes are always inferior to the original. However, this remake of the Karate Kid is decent, but still has spme noticable flaws.

The movie's plot is simple and surprisingly faithful to the source material. In the original a handyman/martial arts master Mr. Miyagi (Pat Norita) agrees to teach a bullied boy (Ralph Macchio) karate and shows him that there is more to the martial arts than fighting. It's predictable, but still heartwarming. The only differences is that Macchio is replaced by Jaden Smith (son of Will Smith), Jackie Chan steps into the role of Mr. Miyagi, and that the setting is moved from America to China. The movie has the heart of the original and still has some nice karate scenes. There is good chemistry between Smith and Chan. The film has some humorous moments also. Jaden Smith stars as the main character and this is the young actor's first leading role. Smith has charm, but he just tries to hard. Some of his dialogue feels forced and he tries to be smart and charming, but unlike his father, it doesn't come naturally to him.

In the latter half of thew film Jaden started feeling more comfotable with the role. It is his first real role as an actor and it shows. In addition, the film clocks in at about two hours, which really drags the film down. The first act of the film is okay, but nothing exciting happens. The film has to set up the story, but there still could have been some significant cuts. The film doesn't pick up until the second act and it leads to a satisfying, yet predictable ending. The audience can see all the points coming from a mile away, but the second half of the film almost makes up for the first half. This remake is decent and could have been worse. If you are into a feel good movie then Karate Kid might be up your alley. Nevertheless, this still doesn't match up to the original.

Tony Stark Returns!

So I finally got to see Iron Man 2 and I loved it. I even loved it more than the first one. Ever since I saw the first Iron Man back in 2008 I was in love with it. Iron Man was not the conventional superhero movie. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is a narcissistic and cocky weapons designer who becomes a superhero after a life changing experience. Stark has no super powers just like Batman, and builds his own weapons. However, unlike Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark is not all dark and brooding. It maintains a good balance of seriousness and comedy, but without it being corny like the Fantastic Four films.

The second Iron Man takes all of the best elements from the first movie and makes it bigger and better. The best thing about the Iron Man movies is Tony Stark, who was born to play Tony Stark. He is very likable and brings a whole lot of charisma to the big screen. Robert Downey Jr. has always been a good actor and it help make the character more three dimensional. The rest of the performances are solid too. Gwyneth Paltrow isn't given much to do, but she and Downey have good chemistry on screen. Although I like Don Cheadle I found myself missing Terrance Howard. Maybe because Howard was in the first movie and not this one. Still, Don Cheadle is a good replacement.

One weakness in the first Iron Man is that the villain was okay. Jeff Bridges played the menacing Obadiah Stane a.k.a. Iron Monger. Jeff Bridges was great because he had a simple objective, but not much depth in that plan. Mickey Rourke is really creepy as Ivan Vanko, who claims that Tony's father stole the arc reactor technology from Ivan's father. So Vanko goes after Tony with his own Arc reactor and uses electric whips to try to take him down.

Another villain is Justin Hammer, who is Stark's rival. Hammer wants to destroy Stark and realizes that Vanko can build computer controlled robot suit weapons to make a profit. I loved Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer, but he gets too much screen time. He hams it up as Hammer, but this guy can't be taken seriously as a menacing villain. The main conflict should have been between Vanko and Stark.

To be honest, this film is a mess, but its not a disaster like Spider-Man 3. Unfortunately, I blame the screenplay by Justin Theroux, who also co-wrote the screenplay for Tropic Thunder. I was always hesitant about the decision, but did not count him out. The script is not as stellar as it could have been, but this story had so much potential. There are moments of brilliance, but too many plot points. Plus, unless audiences pay attention really well then some things can be confusing. For example, Sam Jackson appears in the movie as Nick Fury, Agent of S,H.I.E.L.D. Unless you stuck around to the end of the credits in the first movie you'll be scratching you head saying "who the fuck is this guy?".

The movie kept me entertained, but it is more flawed than the first one. The film improves on the action and Robert Downey Jr. is as good as ever. This is a good effort and hopefully Iron man 3 will be more focused. I like how this film, along with the original Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk are in the same universe and setting up for an Avengers movie. Thor and Captain America are coming out next summer and The Avengers is coming out in 2012. There are hints in the film like you can briefly see Captain America's shield in Tony Stark's lab. In addition, if you stay until the end credits there is a scene which sets up for the next Marvel movie, Thor. I just hope more Marvel characters can be incorporated into this universe.

The 3-D Epidemic (Don't Waste your Money)!

Back in the '50's television was stealing audiences away from the theaters. Obviously the studios and theater owners were concerned so they developed a number of methods to improve the theater going experience. This is 3-D was born. At that time 3-D was a joke. In fact you looked like a jackass wearing those lame glasses. Then of course the studios put out some bad 3-D movies. Eventually, this fad ran out of steam and disappeared forever, well until they made a slight comeback in IMAX theaters and theme park attraction.

It's 2010 and 3-D has taken the throne again. In fact the first 3-D film that I saw was not at a theater, but in a theme park. Times have changed so much. 3-D has left a generally taste in my mouth. I used to love it, but now I almost despise it. One of the main reasons is that the 3-D effects overwhelm the story. A whole lot of 3-D films have things popping out a screen and totally distract from the story. That annoys me so fucking much and it is ridiculous.

However, there are rare exceptions when 3-D is actual integrated into the story very well. A very good example is Avatar. The most beautiful film that I have ever seen in my life. The 3-D just doesn't pop out at you and the film just immerses the viewer into the movie. It feels so natural that viewers forget that they are watching in 3-D, James Cameron spent 12 years working on the film and while Cameron is an average director at best, he knows how to use the newest technology to its fullest. He know how to use 3-D and is damn good at it.

IMO Avatar, Beowulf, X-Mas Carol, and possibly Tintin are the only films that I have been satisfied with seeing in 3-D. A whole lot of other films do not need it at all. Disney was one of the first to hop the 3-D bandwagon. I saw Meet the Robinsons (bad film) in New York and it did not make the movie any better. In fact it made it worse. I saw Disney's latest film version of A X-Mas Carol and it did look nice, but did not really convince me why I wanted to see it in 3-D.

It also kills me that some film will get released and have only 20 minutes or so in 3-D. Superman Returns and Harry Potter 6 are examples of this. If I am going to pay for a 3-D movie I want it to be in 3-D for the whole damn time. These movie weren't designed in 3-D and the studio throw some 3-D paint on the film in post production and market it as a 3-D experience. It looks fake and rushed! It's a waste of money!

Thanks to the success of Avatar, How to Train Your Dragon, and Alice in Wonderland, the studios are trying to strike while the iron is hot. There are plenty of 3-D films that are going to be released for the rest of year like Shrek 4, Toy Story 3, Step-Up 3-D, Cats and Dogs 2, Piranha 3-D, Resident Evil Afterlife, Legend of the Guardians, Alpha and Omega, Jackass 3-D, Saw VII, MegaMind, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Tangled, Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Trader, Tron Legacy, and Gulliver's Travels.

That is just ridiculous. That is 17 more unnecessary movie converted into 3-D. Seriously, do we need to see a shitty dance movie in 3D or a shitty horror movie that has been declining since the first movie in 3-D. Also do we need Cats and Dogs 2 in 3-D? I speak on behalf of everyone in saying FUCK NO!!! Next thing you know they're going to make a Yogi Bear movie and put it in 3-D. Oh wait, they are making a Yogi Bear movie and it's going to be released in 3-D this December, and Justin Timberlake is going to voice Boo Boo bear. I am not joking! Justin Timberlake is going to voice Boo Boo and Dan Aykroyd is going to be Yogi. Real shit!

If you think that's fucked up then check out 2011 where there are already 25 films guaranteed to be shown in 3-D. Tat body count will increase dramatically, trust me. Hollywood is a business and 3-D is a very profitable move right now. However, people do not think about the long run. 3-D was a gimmick back in the '50's and it is still a gimmick now. This is not the future of the film experience and unless the film is directed by Zemeckis, Cameron, or Spielberg, I will not even consider watching a film in 3-D. The 3D train is going to derail, crash, and burn to the ground. When that happens I am going to say I told ya sold....you greedy Hollywood bastards! Don't waste your Money!

Anything Else (Throwback Review)

As I mentioned in my last blog, I saw Match Point by Woody Allen and I loved the film. Definitely in my top 5 Woody Allen films. That same night I also watched Anyhting Else, which stars Jason Briggs (American Pie) and Christina Ricci (Addams Family). The film tells the story of Jerry Falk (Jason Briggs), an aspiring writer living in New York City. He falls in love at first sight with Amanda (Christina Ricci) and dumps his girlfriend to get with her. Seeking advice, Jerry turns to the aging struggling artist (Woody Allen) who acts as his oracle -- and that includes trying to help sort out Jerry's romantic life.

The first problem with the film is the marketing. Dreamworks tries to market this picture as a romantic comedy not mentioning anything about Woody Allen whatsoever. It centered on the appeal of the young stars, Briggs and Ricci, in ads and trailers. Apparently, Dreamworks spent $10 million to market it, but this did not matter in the end as the film bombed at the box office. Although it did do better overseas, but not enough to match its $18 million budget.

It really annoys me when studios try to market a film and hide the fact of the film's true nature. Dreamworks marketed the film as another romantic comedy with young stars to appeal to the general public. However, if you watch the movie it has Allen's marks all over it. There is a neurotic main character who is Jewish, quirky dialogue, and jazz music. Sounds like a Woody Allen film to me.

The studios did the same thing with the comedy Adventureland, which is a magnificent comedy that has a more dramatic side to it. In the trailers it looks like Superbad Part 2. Partly because the film is written and directed by the director of Superbad (Greg Mottola). The movies are completely different in a lot of ways. As much as I love Superbad, the juvenile humor, dirty language, and sex jokes can get a little old and the novelty tends to wear off a little bit. Adventureland has a great balance of drama and comedy and it is a film that I can take more seriously. Plus the character are realer and not totally cartoonish. It reminds me of those John Hughes' films (R.I.P. Mr. Hughes) back in the '80's. It is more mature like Judd Apatow's Funny People, which is his most personal and best film he has ever done.

Anything Else is marketed with the ads and TV spots not mentioning Woody Allen at all. This is because he was box office poison at the time. I think that is wrong, but marketers have do whatever they can do to try to sell tickets. I do not blame them at all, and unfortunately that's the most logical choice given the Allen's critical decline in the late '90's into the new millennium.

The second problem with the film is that the film is not all that funny. It has its moments, but most of the time it is uninteresting. The characters are not that likable. I didn't really care for Jason Briggs' character and Christina Ricci's character came off as an ungrateful bitch. She is annoying, nagging, and unfaithful. She got on my nerves really fast. The best character is Woody Allen as he plays a crazy and gun toting writer, who is Jerry's mentor.

The third problem is that the film is recycled material from Allen's past film, which are much better. This has the scent of Annie Hall, Manhattan, and Hannah & Her Sisters all over it. I have seen a fair share of Woody Allen films and right away there are elements that I have seen over and over again.

This is a passable film, but it is better than a whole lot of other romantic comedies. This film is like Citizen Kane compared to all of the garbage out there (i.e.: The Back-up Plan). There are some funny moments, but are too far in between and some gags just fall flat. Skip it and go see the best romantic comedy ever (Annie Hall).

Triple Dipping

I saw the DVD/Blu-ray sales and Avatar has sold 6.5 million copies combined. It's the fastest selling DVD title and the fastest Blu-ray disc seller next to the Dark Knight. This makes it the highest selling DVD title of the year behind Twilight: New Moon. I expect nothing less from the highest grossing movie of all time. I do have some concerns though.

Some people are suckers though. I talked with some friends who brought the Avatar. Half of them didn't even know there were any special features on it, and they love special features. It sucks that when I buy a movie and there are no special features on it. It's fucking DVD and not damn VHS. Give me something and not the barebones. This version of Avatar is the barebones version with nothing, but the film on it. The DVD is cheaper than the Blu-ray, but you are a fool if you have a Blu-ray player and not get Avatar on Blu-ray.

The point is if I'm paying 20 something dollars for the Avatar Blu-ray, then I want to behind the scenes look at the film. This film has the best visual effects I have ever seen, so I want to know how they made this film. I want more depth into the film with director's commentary because I can always learn more about the film.

Nevertheless, FOX is releasing this film again in November with the bonus features and everything. This is called double dipping. It's when the studio releases one DVD version and then comes out another version with more special content. I am getting is the November version. Then, they are releasing a 3-D version early next year. So, technically FOX is triple dipping.

I really hate when studios do this, but this is a business. However, this practice pisses off fans (it pissed me off). Thank God I have the internet to read reviews of DVD's.

I See Why Woody Left New York

Man, what a good night! I finally got around to seeing Woody Allen's Match Point, which was released in 2005. I love this film so much because it has so much drama and tension in it. I admit that I was bored for about the first 20 minutes. Plus I did not feel like seeing a British movie last night. Well, technically it was not a British movie. but it's still set in Britain with mostly British characters. Hmm..I guess that does make it a British movie. IDK!

Anyway the plot involves an former Irish tennis pro named Chris (Jonathan Rhys Myers) who move is struggling with money issues right now and moves to London. He gets a job as a tennis instructor at a London country club. He meets Tom (Matthew Goode), who is one of his students. Tom takes an immediate liking to him since they share a lot in common including Opera. next we meet Chloe (Emily Mortimer), who falls in love with Chris and the feeling seems to be mutual. Did I also mention that Tom and Chloe's parents are filthy rich and Chloe immediately gets her father to find Chris a good paying job. Nice.

Then Chris meets Nola (the beautiful Scarlett Johansson) who is a struggling American actress and Tom's finance. Chris wants Nola, but Nola is engaged to Tom. However, Nola takes an interest in Chris too. From then on the film speeds through with intense drama with some shocking surprises along the way.

The main theme of this movie is luck. This is shown in the first few minutes of the movie when Chris narrates that he would rather be lucky than good. Then we see a tennis ball hitting the tip of net and from there it can be luck if it lands in the other player's side. Or if it lands on your side and you're shit out of luck. Sometimes Chris gets lucky in the movie and sometimes he's boned.

I believe that this is the first time that Woody left his precious New York and do a film outside the country. I believe that this is because he had become box office poison during the late 1990's. In fact before this his last great film was Deconstructing Harry. This is not your typical Woody Allen movie at all. The only reason I knew it is his film is because I read movie reviews. Movie ads don't even feature his name anymore. Foreign audiences love Woody Allen and he is still bankable overseas. After Match Point he made Scoop and Cassandra's Dream, which also take place in London. He went to Spain fore Vicky Cristina Barcelona and then he returned to New York for the underrated Whatever Works. Now he is back to Europe again with You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger (weird title). Then he is filming a movie in Paris.

I read in an interview that he considers Match Point to be his best film. I highly disagree with that as I can find five better films than Match Point. However, after years of duds it is a return to form and Allen is getting back on track again. Now I am tempted to see Vicky Cristina Barcelona and can't wait for Tall Dark Stranger to come out later this year. Oh and I saw Anything Else (another Allen flix), which I will discuss later. Believe me, I will have much to discuss for that recycled hodgepodge of a film.

The Losers Win

I saw The Losers onThursday and let me tell you that it is one of the most entertaining movies I have seen all year. It's bloody, off beat, and bad azz.

The movie is about five members of an elite U.S. Special Forces unit sent into the Bolivian jungle on a search and destroy mission. The team consists of Clay (Jeffery Dean Morgan), Jensen (Chris Evans), Roque (Idris Elba), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Oscar Jaenada). Soon they find themselves the target of a lethal betrayal instigated from inside by a powerful enemy known only as Max (Jason Patric). Presumed dead, the group makes plans to even the score when they're joined by the mysterious Aisha (Zoe Saldana), a beautiful operative with her own agenda. Working together, they must remain deep undercover while tracking the heavily-guarded Max, a ruthless man bent on embroiling the world in a new high-tech global war.

First of all I have to say that Zoe Saldana is my new celebrity crush. She actually took the place of my previous crush Mariah Carey, who married that loser Nick Cannon. In the film she is sexy, cunning, and ruthless. That's pretty bad azz. Chris Eveans, who is going tpo play Captain America in 2011, shines as Jensen the computer hacker. He plays his character perfectly and kept me laughing throughout the picture. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who played The Comedian in Watchmen, is such a bad azz in this. He is playing a tough guy role which reminds me of Mickey Rourke for some reason.

All in all it's a solid film. At first I didn't know this was rated R. It had some questionable stuff in there, but I'm not complaining. I don't think more gore and language would make it better. As much as I liked it, I say to just rent it. It's solid, but nothing to memorable. Besides Iron Man 2 is coming on May 7, so if you only have money to see one film this summer make it Iron Man 2. Now I just hope that IM2 doesn't suck ass.

The Last Airbender

I stopped watching Nickelodeon a long time ago. It's funny how things change so quickly. Back in the old days I was addicted to Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network was a close second. I remember the days when I used to watch Nicktoons every day like Ren & Stimpy, Rugrats, and Doug. Then, some other shows came on like Rocko's Modern Life, CatDog, Ahh! Real Monsters, Rocket Power, etc. I even watched SpongeBob and Fairly Oddparents for a while. However, I grew up and my favorite toons from the past got canceled. So I really stopped watching.

Then, a show called Avatar: The Last Airbender comes on and I am hooked. It is not an anime series because it did not come from Japan, but it a cartoon with anime elements spliced into it. A basic summary of the story is that there are four nations (Earth, Fire, Water & Air). Each of these nations have people who can bender a certain element. Then, there is the avatar, who is reincarted into different nations every 100 or so years. The avatar is suppossed to bring balance to the world and everything. One day the Fire Nation decides to get all power hungry and wage war on the other nations. Then, when the world needs him most, the Avatar disappears. Cut to about a century later and two teenagers (Katara and Sokka) find a boy frozen in a block of ice. The boy (Aang) awakens and he is the avatar. Now he has to master all four elements so he can bring peace to the world before the Fire nation burns it all to the ground.

It is an intriguing premise and I still like anime. However, I am a very casual fan and I don't really go to anime festival and dress up as a ninja at these things (I hate Naurto so much)! I heard to show was good, but I still wasn't interested. I actually had to force myself to watch this show to find out for myself. I watched several episodes and I started to like it.

Unfortunately, the show is over and the episodes are all out of order. In fact I saw the series finale before I even watched the first season. The show doesn't really break any ground plot wise and you know what is going to happen in the end. The cartoon has some slick action sequences and some surprisingly funny dialogue at times. I find the title character to be a little flat, but the one character who stands out is Prince Zuko. He is the heir to the Fire Lord, but when he speaks out of term he is challenged to a fight with his father. Zuko loses and part of his face is burned by his father. Then he is banished and tries to hunt the avatar hoping he can gain his father's love again. Eventually, he becomes a protagonist, but through most of the series he is a classic tragic hero.

Now Nickelodeon is making a big budget live action movie about Avatar and it looks promising. Of course it is directed by M. Night Shyamalan, who is pushing out trite shit ever since The Village. I am leery because he has never done an action film, and I wonder how he will handle the fight scenes and everything.

Another thing that the fan boys are pissed about is the choice to cast white actors in the three main roles instead of Asian actors. Although race is never really discussed in the show the premise takes place in a presumed East Asian world so it does make sense to cast Asian actors. This topic came up in Dragonball: Evolution where Goku is played by a white guy. I think it was the same guy who played the Tom Cruise's rebellious son in War of the Worlds. They really couldn't find anyone better I suppose. Anyway i still did not have a problem with that because Goku is an alien! People tend to forget that and I tend to forget also. It helps if Goku is played by an Asian actor, but if a white actor can pull the character off then more power to him. Unfortunately, Justin Chatwin (that's his name) failed miserably and that piece of shit movie failed miserably.

Shyamalan is pissing off the fan base and it is never good to piss off the fan base with piss poor decisions. Dragonball: Evolution is a good example of this. I really don't know how this is going to turn out. Avatar really didn't really become a cultural phenomenon like with some other similar cartoons. There are supposed to be three movies for each season of the show. However, if the film doesn't do decent business you can forget about the other two films. It is up with some strong competition like Toy Story 3, Knight and Day, Grown Ups, and Twilight: Eclipse. It might get lost in the shuffle, but if it gets some good reviews then things will start to look up. I hope it is successful because I would be interested in seeing the other movies.

P.S. M. Night Shyamalan, if you ever read this post then do not put a twist at the end of the movie. If you do I will never forgive you. I forgave you for the Happening, but not if the twist happens. Seriously, the flowers are making people kill themselves? That's Fucking bullshit!

I Should Have Had A Back-Up Plan

Once again I went to a free screening of the newest Jennifer Lopez romantic comedy The Back-Up. OMG this film is shit, even for a romantic comedy. About 95% of romantic comedies are very sub par and predictable. Of course they have to be predictable to a certain point. The main things that matter in this kind of film is the chemistry between the main leads. If the two leads have real strong chemistry they can make people care about the film. Also if it has some good jokes then it can be a good time. Films like Definitely, Maybe and When Harry Met Sally are good examples. Back-Up is the worst movie I have seen all year and a very bad romantic comedy.

I should have seen the signs a mile away. I got my tickets from gofobo, which is essential to sign up for if you want to go to free screenings. About two hours before the film started gofobo were still on the website. If those tix aren't gone then ppl have a lack of interest to see it. That's Strike 1. Jennifer Lopez hasn't been in a movie or made music in a while because she's been having babies. Her time has passed. Her acting is horrible in this movie, but that's not a problem since she has never been a good actress anyway. At least she could make other romantic comedies slightly more tolerable in the past. That's strike 2. The chemistry between the two leads sucked ass big time. I just didn't believe that they were a couple at all. Like I said earlier, chemistry is essential or else we do not care about them. Strike 3.

The movie starts out decent. Any movie that starts off with doctor screaming vagina repeatedly can't be that bad. Most of the jokes fall flat and some of humor is very juvenile, which surprises me a little bit (IDK though). There is one hilarious scene in the movie and a nice appearance by Anthony Anderson, but besides that it is not worth your time. Back Up Plan is a garbage date movie. I should have had a back up plan and sneak into another movie like Date Night. In fact go see Date Movie. That's a film that actually has strong chemistry between the leads (Steve Carell and Tina Fey). Hell I even say The Bounty Hunter is better than this trite piece of film. It's another throw away romantic comedy and the second film from CBS films, which has already had one shitbomb called Extraordinary Measures. It is a romantic comedy so it should do decent business, but it could bomb badly. I don't know because I'm not the movie's demographic. Skip this shit.

Brotherhood

I am a big Fullmetal Alchemist fan. Ever since I saw it back in '06 or '07. I can't really remember. It's a manga about an alternate reality where alchemy prevailed over science. Two brothers try to bring back their mother from the grave using alchemy. However, they commit the biggest sin in alchemy, which is human transmutation. They get screwed as the older brother Edward, loses his leg and his younger brother alphonse loses his entire body. Later Edward sacrifices his right arm in order to attach his brother's soul to an armored suit. The boys are determined to find the Philosopher's Stone, which can give them their bodies back. Along the way they undercover a big conspiracy, which will threaten the whole world.

That's a crude summary, but you can just look it on wikipedia to get a better aspect of the show. The manga is really good and it was adapted into a 2003 anime and eventually released in America. I loved the anime, but the only thing about is that the anime strays away from the original plot of manga into its own story-line. This was necessary because the manga was not finished yet. The anime had a great finale, but it was a little anti climatic. That was until the movie came out and tied things up. It was a fitting goodbye to a great series. Still i thought to myself "what if they had animated the rest of manga."

My prayers were answered when the creator of Fullmetal Alchemist, Hironu Arakawa. announced in '09 that Bones (production company) is going to produce a second anime series that follows the manga more closely. I jumped for joy for the most part. The only bad thing is that about the first 15 episodes feel like they are being pushed down your throat. After that it is smooth sailing for the rest of the way. In Japan it is already on episode 52 and the series is on episode 11 in the United States. At this point the second anime is going to end soon and will probably end around 60 something episodes.

If you are a fan of manga then you own it to yourself to read the series and watch both of the animes. Now you can always buy the series from the books store or you could just read it on the internet. I am not saying what site, but it should be easy to find. If you are reading then you know that the series is getting down to the final innings, and it is going to be a spectacular ending (hopefully). Now if they made this into a movie, which should be easier to do compared to a lot of other anime, I will be super special excited.

Kick-Ass get its ass handed to it.

I read the the paper today and saw the box office totals for the weekend. Kick-Ass, which was predicted to take the top spot came in second place with a total much lower than expected. It was beaten by How to Train Your Dragon, which is holding up really well and is getting outstanding reviews (98% on Rotten Tomatoes). It was a close one with Dragon winning by only about 250 grand. Kick-Ass made about 19.7 million, which is certainly lower than I expected given its internet hype. I mean the fan boys were just raving about it and it does look good, but Kick Ass isn't really a comic book known by the general public at all. This also proves that once again the internet hype doesn't mean shit 90% of the time.

I was hoping that it would take off like Zombieland, which was a surprise hit last fall. If you think about super hero movies not usually know by casual moviegoers usually do bad at the box office. Watchmen did score a big opening, but it went down like a shit bomb it's second weekend. It ended up with $107 million, which really was disappointing. a movie with an opening like that should at least reach close to $200 million. Plus some people did not really find the character of Hit girl very amazing and some were turned off by the intense violence. If you think about the film was going to have a niche audience from the beginning. The comic book is not known like X-Men, Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, etc. It will reach profitability eventually. In the mean time I ams till waiting for Iron Man 2.

Death at a Funeral (Average Unnecessary Remake)

I saw Death at a Funeral this past Wednesday and it was a mixed bag. Now, I didn't even know that this is a remake of a 2007 British film of the same name up until a couple weeks ago. It befuddles me on why Hollywood decides to remake a film only after three years when the original came out. I mean I understand that Hollywood will make remakes of any kind of film that they feel like that can make a quick buck on. Some remakes are actually better than the other original movie (Ocean's Eleven, The Departed, Insomnia). Some remakes are average (Funny Games, Great Expectations, I Am Legend). Then there are some that are unfathomably bad pieces of shit (The Wicker Man, Poseidon,Planet of the Apes). Then we have have Death at a Funeral, which is just not necessary at all.

In 1998 Universal Studios felt the need to remake the classic Alfred Hitchcock film, Psycho. It is a shot by shot remake of the original except that it is in color. Vince Vaughn played Norman Bates (WTF) and Anne Heche played Marion Crane, who was brutally murdered in the shower. This is back when she was bangin' Ellen (ewww). Anyway it also starred William H. Macy, Viggo Mortenson, and Jullianne Moore. Plus it was directed by Gus van Sant, hot from his award winning film Good Will Hunting. Later the man would win the Palm de Ore at the Cannes Film Festival. I wonder if this was an experiment by Universal to see how much money they could make from a shot to shot remake of the original. Well it super failed and that means to never mess with a classic. It's just like if you remade Citizen Kane. If they did Orson Welles would be rolling over in his grave.

That's besides the point. Death at a Funeral is an unnecessary remake made more marketable towards American audiences because a lot of Americans have varying opinions on the dry British humor. As we speak the film has already grossed more than the original in one weekend (original only made 8 million at B.O.). Like Psycho the film is unbelievably faithful to the source material and it even has a good and funny cast. This includes Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan, Danny Glover, James Madsen, Zoe Saldana, Loretta Devine, Keith David, Luke Wilson, and more. Plus it's directed by Neil LaBute who directed some good decent movies like Nurse Betty and Lakeview Terrace. This is also the man who directed the horrible train wreck called The Wicker Man.

The film is better than I expected, but I really did not have high expectations for it in the beginning anyway. A quick summary of the movie is that a family is holding a funeral for their father and every possible thing that can go wrong, does go wrong. The film wastes its talented cast. Chris Rock is decent as the straight man. They didn't give Martin Lawrence or Luke Wilson anything to do. James Masden tries to hard to be funny, but he does have a couple of laughs. Danny Glover was funny as a cankerous old man. I did not like Tracy Morgan at all. I do not think he is very funny and his voice just gets on my nerve. Granted I have only watched a couple of films that he is in, but if those films are any indication of his comedic talent then I am not very impressed at all. The film results to some potty humor, and I did laugh at that even though I am ashamed of myself for that. I can't help it. Bathroom humor always brings out the juvenile side in me.

This is not a bad remake, but there was no reason to remake it, since the first one got mixed to positive reviews. Plus it's only been three years since the first one and that just annoys the fuck out of me. It is not bad, but it didn't have to be made in the first place and doesn't really add anything different. I haven't seen the original so I can't judge it off of that. Skip it.

Quarter 1

Now that we are going to jumps into the summer movie season in a couple weeks I thought it might be nice to share my thoughts on some of the movies I've seen, and some movies that looked like shit. Let me say that I love free screenings. I have not paid for a movie since seeing Avatar for the second time. I mean I get so many free tickets that have the time I can't even go to them.

I saw Edge of Darkness back in January and it was decent, but not you know I was not expecting much anyway. It's a comeback vehicle for Mel Gibson who had not acted in a movie since the little DUI tirade about how the jews are screwing up America. Yeah, I would say out of the spotlight for a while too. So after directing Apocalypto and going through a nasty divorce with his wife who nearly tooklike half of everything he had, he is back. This is why you always sign a pre nup kids.

Edge of Darkness is about Gibson's daughter getting killed by some guys and now is going after the guys who killed his daughter. Gibson finds out that his daughter's murder is connected to some big government conspiracy or whatever. Another standard revenge movie with nothing special in it. It had a couple of good violent moments, but they were to far in between and there was too much damn talking. You can skip Edge of Darkness.

I saw The Lovely Bones back in January too, which I really let me down before the film came out. The reason behind that is because this looked like a potential Oscar nominee for a long time. I thought this was going to be a Best Picture Nominee along with Nine. I mean it Lovely Bones it directed by Peter Jackson, Spielberg is an Executive Producer, has an Oscar winning cast, and based off a hit bookWell we all know how that turned out. Both Nine and The Lovely Bones turned out to be critical and and commercials failures. Well to be fair Lovely Bones did a little better, but still barely broke even with its production budget with $66 million. At first it looked like it cost $100 million, but the budget actually turned out to be $65 million.

The first thing I want to say is that the film really deals with some dark subject matter. The film is ablout a girl named Suzie Salmon, played beautifully by Saoirse Ronan. She is killed by a child molester, and now she is watching over her family - and her killer - from heaven. She must weigh her desire for vengeance against her desire for her family to heal. This is some deep stuff and Jackson's overbarring visuals don't really mix well with this depressing story. Jackson doesn't make full use of his cast, but Stanley Tucci owns this movie. He plays the child molester and he gets deep into his role, and truly creeped me out and was a great villain. Besides that the story really doesn't go anywhere and the ending is a little anti climatic for me. I'm going to see this film again since I got a free DVD of it. So maybe my decision might change. However, right now I say skip it.

I also saw Extraordinary Measures in january witjh bredan Fraiser and Harrison Ford. The basic plot is about the efforts of John and Aileen Crowley to find a researcher who might have a cure for their two children's rare genetic disorder. This movie should not have been released to the big screen. This is totally a made-for-TV movie that has no kind of cinematic flair. Seriously, this is melodramatic soap opera movie that has been told dozens of times. If it was a TV movie then I wouldn't judge it that hard. It wasn't and it was painfully average and unnecessary. I say skip it.

In February I saw the Wolfman, which i also did not have high expectations for at all. It was supposed to come out last year, but thabks to reshoots it was delayed until February. Whenever there are reshoots it means that the film is not going to be good, and I was right. It stars Benecio Del Toro, who I cannot understand sometimes, as a man visiting his old home and is bitten by a werewolf. Not much of a plot, but the transformation scenes are good. Some of the action scenes are cool, but not enough action. The movie didn't really hold my interest and wastes its good cast. There are much better werewolf movie, but renting it wouldn't hurt. of course you could just rent the original wolfman movie, which is more satisfying.

I also saw Shutter Island back in February, but since I already wrote a review on it I will kjeep it super short. Not as good as I thought it would be, but Leonardo Dicaprio gives a strong performance. Martin Scorsese did a good job, but to be fair his remake of Cape Fear was better than this (both are similar psychological horror movies). I didn't get that involved with the characters and there are some good surprises, but not enough to care. I'll see this one again and see if my opinion will change. I do know that if this was released last October it would not be an awards player at all. I say to at least rent it.

In March I saw Brooklyn's Finest, which is nothing special. It centers around three cops stories all intervining in Brooklyn. The three leads Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, and Richard Gere, all give very solid performaces. Antonie Faqua brings out the best in his actors, but the story is stale and uninteresting. Rent it.

I also saw She's Out of my League, which was fucking hilarious. A solid comedy about an average guy, who is a 5 (Jay Baruchel), meets the perfect woman (a 10), but his lack of confidence and the influence of his friends and family begin to pick away at the relationship. The movie's logline is how a 10 can end up with a 5. Okay, that's just a stupid plot point. It's a sweet romantic comedy, which stands out as being better than most of the recent horrible ones (bounty Hunter anybody?).Jay Baruchel is likable and has a certain charm about him. it kept me laughing through the whole time. It will be on DVD soon so just catch it then.

Repo Men is a movie that I looked like it would be quirky and stand out like Zombieland. The movie is set in the future where people buy organs, but if you can't make your payments then the Repo Men (Forest Whitaker & Jude Law) will come and take your organs back. Pretty soon Law gets artificial organs and is now on the run from his partner (Whitaker). This movie totally rips off Repo! The Genetic Opera, but this film is good compared to that piece of trash. An intriguing idea turns out well in some points, but the script gets stale and all that gore really is unecessary and totally comes out of left field. I did like the ending, but I felt a little cheated at the same time. I say rent it, but if you don't like bloody violence then stay away.

Finally I saw Hot Tub Time machine, which is the funniest comedy I have seen since the Hangover. This is the time of film that is so stupid it's supossed to be funny, and it succeeds with flying colors. The film is just about four men who are transported to the eighties thanks to a hot tub time machine. The cast has great chemistry and the jokes work. It is foul and raunchy, and it is totally awesome. Too bad it hasn't done that well at the Box office.

Well that's it for now.

OK, you &^%$@, let's see what you can do now!

Kick-Ass is turning out to be this year's Zombieland, which is something I was hoping Repo Men to be (but failed miserably). This movie sneaked up on me and didn't even know of its existence until a couple months ago. Well it comes out this Friday, and I am excited as hell. Along with Death at a Funeral this should be a good movie weekend.

The basic summary of Kick-Ass is about Dave Lizewski, who is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan with a few friends and who lives alone with his father. His life is not very difficult and his personal trials not that overwhelming. However, one day he makes the simple decision to become a super-hero even though he has no powers or training. He is joined by other superheos like Bigg Daddy, Red Mist, and Hit-Girl, and together they try to take down a mob boss.

So far, Kick-Ass is getting generally good reviews, which around the 70's on Rotten Tomatoes. However, some braindead critics and uptight parents are complaining about the character of Hit-Girl. Hit-Girl is a 11 year old superhero, who fights his her father (Nicolas Cage). The character is played by Chole Grace Moretz, who at one point in the movie says, "OK, you cunts, let's see what you can do now!" This combined with the level of violence plus the fact she was only 11 years old at the time of parents really pissed some parents and critics off. Australian Family Association spokesman John Morrissey claimed that "the language [was] offensive and the values inappropriate – without the saving grace of the bloodless victory of traditional superheroes."

All I have to say to these guys is just shut the hell up...please! This is movie is rated R and that line was in the red band trailer, and not in the regular trailer. If it offends you that's fine (I can see why). It's just a movie and obviously not in your demographic, so just don't watch it. However, this is good for the film as all these uptight critics and reserved parents are just stiring up controversy for the film. The last time I checked controversy equals big bucks at the box office. The film's production is $ 28 million and it has already made at least half of that. Of course the film hasn't been released in the United States yet.

So I'm going to totally see this movie as soon as I can. I was hoping to get free tix to see this, but the film never came to my city (that sucks). Well, I did get passes to see Death at a Funeral tomorrow. I will try to write that review as soon as I can. I will also try to write Kick-Ass review soon too. I should be focusing on my paper, but hey I get distracted a lot. Hmm...I think i'll got eat something now.

Iron Man 2

I read an interesting article earlier that talked about the high anticipated sequel to Iron Man, and how it might surpass the Dark Knight in terms of the highest grossing opening weekend. Iron Man came out in 2008 and it enjoyed critical and commercial success. That movie opened with $98 million and went all the way to gross $318 million. The movie also holds a 93% fresh rating on the website Rotten Tomatoes. Not bad for a movie where the super hero is hardly known outside of the comic book community.

I have seen Iron Man back in '08 and had hardly heard of the character. I mean let's face it. Iron Man is not as popular as other Marvel Superheros like Spider-Man, X-Men, or even the fucking Fantastic 4. I saw Iron Man and it was the most fun I had in a while. That, Hellboy 2, and The Dark Knight made it a good year for superhero. The perfect way to get the shitty superhero movie taste out of my mouth from the previous year (SM 3 & FF4: ROSS).

The question is whether Iron Man 2 can surpass the opening weekend record set by Dark Knight, which made an astonishing 158.4 million dollars (holy cheese)! I have no idea. It's possible, but at the same time it would be very hard to pull off. Now, it will definitely make more than $100 million in its first three days, which is around what the first iron man made. My prediction is that it won't surpass it, but it will be very close. I say around $140 million, which is pretty damn good. It will probably make around $400 million at the box office (domestically). Let's just hope it gets decent reviews because that will be an extra bonus too.

Here are the top 10 opening weekends for the domestic box office (just for reference). Of course if you're a box office junkie like me then boxofficemojo.com and the-numbers.com are some essential websites to go to.

The Dark Knight - $158 million
Spider-Man 3 - $151 million
The Twilight Saga: New Moon - $142 million
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - $135 million
Shrek the Third - $121 million
Alice in Wonderland - $116 million
Spider-Man 3 - $114.8
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - $114.7 million
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - $108.9
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - $108.4

My Growing Distaste of Blockbuster.

So I went into to my local Blockbuster the other to rent some more movies. This is my second time going to Blockbuster this year since I barely have time to go anymore. I went earlier in early March since my spring break is the first week in March. I mean there was still snow on the ground when my school went on Spring Break. If that's not messed up, then I don't know what is? The last time I went there I rented 8 movies (yeah I'm crazy). I rented Serious man, Moon, Bruno, Saving Private Ryan, Lost in Translation, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, 25th Hour, and Intolerable Cruelty. All movies that I have been dying to see. So I paid my 18 bucks and left satisfied.

Here's where the shit started. I rarely turn my videos in on time. I have to pay late fees like almost 90% of the time. It really killed me in the past when Blockbuster made you take 'em back 1-2 days later. However, several years ago they got rid of their late fee policies and now you can keep them as long as you like. Well you still have to pay a restocking fee, but that's different from regular late fees. Now I could have my grace periods and Blockbuster wouldn't be all up in my ass about returning videos.

So I go to the video store this past weekend and rent another 8 movies (crazy). I rented some movies I've wanted to see for a while like Big Lebowski, Wall Street, Interiors, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and others. When I go to checkout I found out that I owe $46.08. OMG! I was so fucking pissed. It sort of spoiled my mood, but still ended up getting 3 Woody Allen movie. Of course they're his older movies for when he was still in his prime. I watched Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex (but were to Afraid to Ask), Interiors, and Everybody Says I Love You. Jesus, this man puts a film out like every year and he's like 70 something.

Not laugh out loud funny, but a more subtle humor, which is still funny too. Will I ever go back to Blockbuster? Yes, but I want to join Netflix so badly. It cost $8.95 a month, but I need a credit card, and I hate credit cards. I'm also concerned that the movie will get lost in the mail. This is because most of the local mailmen in my area suck so badly. However, there is a solution to that problem because you can stream movies on the Ps3, which is what I have right now. Nevertheless, I hate using credit cards.

Blockbuster is losing money and the stores are closing. One store close to me has already closed down so I hope the other one doesn't close down.