The Fall Recap

So, it's finally November. 2010 went by so fast. It's true when they say time passes by. One day I'll wake up and I'll be 30 fuckin' years old (hopefully). Anyway I did a summer movie review and a lot of the movies either underwhelmed or disappointed greatly. There was one film in particular that really pissed me off and is probably going to be the worst film of the year, or at least close to it. I can't call the verdict out on that yet b/c I haven't see Yogi Bear (yes, there is a Yogi Bear film coming out...sigh). Anyway here are quick reviews of all the movies I've seen since The Expendables. I decided on what rating system I'm going to use. It's just going to be the 5 star system (nothing special).

Going the Distance: Another sub par romantic comedy, but not the worst one I've seen. Drew Barrymore is charming, but Justin Long feels totally out of place. The film is weird because it is an R-rated romantic comedy, which aren't really common. So the film is going to lose some audience right there. The movie had an odd mix of raunchy humor that just didn't mix well and most the jokes were more miss than hit. 2 out of 5.

Machete: The best thing about the 2007 film Grindhouse film were the fake trailers. This film is based off of one of them. Machete has a simple premise: a Mexican day laborer is hired to kill the senator. However, his employers double cross him and leave him for dead. He recovers and takes revenge on his former employees. Machete is played by Danny Trejo who you see in a lot of movies, but is always a supporting character. This is his first starring role and he is so bad azz. There is so much bloodshed and over-the-top violence that I expect from this B-movie. The film runs a little too long as it could have just been a tight hour and a half. Plus it introduces a heavy political message about open boarders and shit. It's an odd mix for this film as you can't take it seriously anyway. It's still fun though. 3.5 out of 5.

Resident Evil Afterlife: I thought they were done making these bad RE film, but I guess I was wrong. The last RE film (Extinction) was better than the previous two, but that wasn't saying much. Afterlife is the fourth film in the shit RE franchise and it doesn't improve the series one bit. There are a few good action scenes, but it has a bad story, bad dialogue, and bad 3D. It just proves that 3D makes movies worse. 1.5 out of 5.

The Virginity Hit: A simple story of a teen and his friends trying to get laid. Sound familiar (Superbad)? Except it's not as funny as Superbad. Oh, and the whole thing is filmed with a shaky camera. I hate Shaky cam! I HATE SHAKY CAM!!! Seriously though, it just makes me dizzy and it's lazy film making. 1 out of 5.

The Town: This is Ben Affleck's second film and it proves that he is not a one hit wonder. It's a bank robbing movie, but also a very tense one. It's probably the second best heist movie (behind Inception). There are great performances from everyone and the script is great. It's not as good as his first film Gone Baby Gone, but it should be a serious Oscar contender. 4 out of 5.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger: Woody Allen ios 74 and still making movies. Now that's hard work. Unfortunately his best days are behind him, but we do get flashes of brilliance once in a while (Match Point, Vicky Cristina Barcelona). This is a decent lightweight romantic comedy that is better than 99% of the other rom comedies out there. The cast is impressive, but Antonio Banderas and Frieda Pinto are wasted. The best performance go to Gemma Jones, Anthony Hopkins, and Josh Brolin. It's not one of Woody's best, but not his worst. Although this is really for his fan base. Anyone else might be bored of it. 3.5 out of 5.

The Social Network: A movie about Facebook is one of the best movies of the year. I am not joking. This is a brilliant film with an excellent screenplay and outstanding performances by Jessi Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, and even Justin Timberlake. David Fincher has crafted a great film and it could be the Citizen Kane of this decade. That's a bold statement, but this is a clever, smart, and amazing film. This has Oscar nominations all over it. 5 out of 5.

Life as We Know It: Another awful romantic comedy by the super annoying Katherine Heigl. There is no chemistry between Heigl and Josh Duchamel (I think that's how you spell his name). The jokes aren't funny and plot is just so boring. Oh and did I mention that Heigl is annoying and a little bitchy. Well if there is one good thing about the movie is that the baby they care for is pretty cute. 0.5 out of 5.

My Soul to Take: Come one Wes Craven! You're a horror icon you directed one of the best horror movies ever (A Nightmare on Elm Street). Plus you directed the excellent Scream franchise. This is supposed to be his comeback movie, but it is so bad. I mean this is really bad. The ludicrous and convoluted plot, the cardboard characters, and lack of thrills make this a piece of shit movie. Seriously Wes. what were you thinking. Let's hope Scre4m (dumb ass title) fairs better. 0.5 out of 5.

Due Date: An average road comedy starring Robert Downey, Jr. and lovable man-child Zach Galifiankis. It has some big laughs, but it's ultimately empty of story and character development. 3 out of 5.

Megamind: An entertaining family film by DreamWorks. The jokes are clever and voice acting is good for the most part. Will Ferrell is excellent as the lead. There are some jokes that will fly over the kids' heads. It's another standard DreamWorks film, which is not bad. However, DreamWorks is always second place to the superior Pixar. 3.5 out of 5.

So that is it. There are still some good movie coming out like the final Harry Potter film, 127 Hours, Tron Legacy, and True Grit. So see you next time.